Posts Tagged ‘sex’


[Note: This is being re-posted to foster thoughts on the pornographic film, Fifty Shades of Grey]

Since American Reunion makes the eighth installment of the sex-worshiping franchise, American Pie, we have compiled 8 reasons Christians shouldn’t watch it. Yesterday, we posted the first four, below we have the remaining four.

Sex is Idolized

The first American Pie was all about losing one’s virginity on prom night. That was the god of the four main characters. In one scene, the character actually prays that God would allow him to fornicate with a girl. Sex is still the false god of this newest installment. Sex is a good thing, but when it becomes the thing it’s idolatry. This is the first and greatest commandment. Love God first, not sex. This film feeds THE lie of this culture, that lie? “Sex is the greatest thing.” Sex is a good thing, but God is the greatest in all creation.

Lust & Pornography

One would be hard-pressed to find any film that didn’t cause you to lust, whether it was for food or possessions or sex, however, lust is a sin (Prov. 6:25, Job 31:1, Matt. 5:25, Col. 3:5). And if I were a betting man, there is no way you could make it through an American Pie film without lusting. The entire franchise is designed to make you lust. I’m surprised they don’t give you a money-back guarantee if you don’t. The bottom line is, this film was created to make you sin. While we are on the subject of lust, let’s just go ahead and call this a pornographic film. Compared to more raunchy films this could be considered a “soft” porn, yet it is porn nonetheless. Even though this film will not be as explicit as some porn, there are plenty of pornographic elements contained in the film. Pornography is clearly sin and is one of the most powerful addictions in our culture. Even though this film will have less graphic content, it will lead to more explicit content because porn can never satisfy. It destroys marriages, spouses, & children – it is not funny. Why take the chance of indulging in something that could be your end, and laugh at something that ruins so many lives?

Masturbation is Okay

The combination of lust and porn will bring us here. In the previews Jim (Biggs) exclaims that he doesn’t have much sex now that he’s married, therefore, he decides to “please” himself. However, his 4 to 5 year-old son walks in and catches his father masturbating to pornography – again, all played for laughs. This is wrong on so many levels, but let me just take one. God created sex to bind two people together, once married. Jim’s character is idolizing sex to such a degree that his own pleasure is more important than his union with his wife. Instead of drawing towards his wife, he is committing adultery with strangers on his computer screen…in front of his son. Hilarious…right?

One Final Thought

If you are still persistent and say, “As a Christian, I think I can watch this film.” My question for you is, “Will you be embarrassed?” If you were to go to the cinema and see this film and run into someone you know – parents, girlfriend or boyfriend, pastor, or grandparents – and they knew you saw this film, would it bother you? Chances are that it would. And if it would, that means there’s a certain level of shame and guilt attached to it. I would say that there is a certain level of guilt and shame attached to this film, because of the above mentioned reasons. If you say, ‘I won’t be embarrassed.” You should be.

Use great caution in possibly indulging these areas of sin for some cheap laughs. Christians have much freedom, because of our beautiful Savior Jesus Christ, but that does not give us license to let grace abound. Let me close with God’s Word in Romans 6:1-4:

What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it? Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.



[Note: This is being re-posted to foster thoughts about the pornographic film, Fifty Shades of Grey]

As mentioned before, Reel Thinking, wants to be cautious about its approval or disapproval of any film. We are aware of Christian liberty and understand what’s offensive to some, might not be offensive to others. However, there are times we will speak more bluntly, and American Reunion certainly gives reason to.

It’s interesting to note that the last time I spoke strongly against a film was A Very Harold & Kumar Mockery of Christ….or something like that, I can’t remember the exact title. And, American Reunion has some of the same writers involved. Adam Herz & Jon Hurwitz have been responsible for such classics like Harold and Kumar 1 & 2 and American Pie 1-7 (I’m not exaggerating; Reunion makes the 8th installment of the franchise). So one must not be Det. Columbo to figure out that Herz & Hurwitz have an agenda for sex in their films.

Now we want to be cautious of not sounding hypocritical or judgmental toward those involved in this film, or even those who really want to see this film. With a certain level of guilt and shame, I admit that I saw the first American Pie in the theaters and today I wish I wouldn’t.

All of that being said, Christians would be hard-pressed to give reasons why they should subject themselves to a film like AR. If you simply say you want to see it because it’s funny, I can think of some more wholesome ways to enjoy a good laugh. Plus, should we be laughing at the jokes AR are telling? I’ve thought of eight reasons why Christians, or anyone for that matter, shouldn’t go see this film. Since it’s the eighth installment of the franchise, I figured this would be fitting. I will post four today and the remaining four tomorrow, so be sure to read all my reasons before you say I’m an out-of-touch-culture-hating-Christian.

The Content

Let’s begin with the obvious. The film contains crude sexual content throughout, nudity, language, brief drug use and teen drinking. And I think it’s safe to say, none of these will be presented in a redeeming way. In actuality, all of this will be glorifying the sinful depravity of man. I would say, that there are times when this content could be okay to accurately tell a certain story, but not when it’s making light of it or glorifying it.


Remember, I haven’t seen the film, and won’t be seeing it, so I’m going off of the previews. The character of Stifler (Sean William Scott) encourages Jim (Jason Biggs) to have sex with a certain girl. When Jim tells Stifler he’s married, he makes another crude remark encouraging the pursuit of adultery. Last I checked, adultery is not only a sin listed in the Bible, but it also wrecks the lives of the spouses and children involved, therefore, it shouldn’t be a punchline Christians should laugh at.

Marriage is Mocked

Now maybe the film teaches a moral at the end about marriage and family, but you have to wade through a lot of garbage to get there. On the other hand, at least one scene from the previews implies that life is over once married. This may seem like a ‘Lighten-up-John’ comment, but let’s not be too quick to dismiss. Marriage is instituted by God, therefore, Satan and the world hates it. We live in a world with an insane divorce rate, so should we take lightly a film that mocks it? The world is buying this lie, let’s not propagate it by laughing along with them.

Fornication is Funny

This film sees sex outside of marriage as funny. Period. Sleep around, sleep with many different people, laugh about sleeping around, etc. Let’s get back to some basics. God made sex as good. He made it to bind two people together. Sleeping with many different partners tears people apart – spiritually, mentally, & emotionally speaking. I know plenty of people who slept around and they carry difficult baggage with them throughout life. Fornication is not funny, ask the people who have done it.

Star-Trek-Into-Darkness-Poster-HD-WallpaperOkay, I know Star Trek: Into Darkness has been out since May and that makes it ancient in this fast-paced culture, but I just got the chance to see it. This film had all the necessary ingredients for a summer blockbuster: spectacle, intriguing story, great acting, humor, tension, sacrifice and sex (more on that in just a minute).

First off, let me just say that I continue to appreciate the work of J. J. Abrams. He has a knack for cultivating a nuance to the action/sci-fi genre while still bringing a certain level of nostalgia into his pictures. He has consistently accomplished this in his films and television series – Super 8 being a prime example. All of this to say, I am very hopeful with his forthcoming Star Wars films.

Back to Star Trek, it was such a satisfying film. The visuals were very impressive – everything from the exterior and interior design of the various spacecrafts, to the futuristic details of San Francisco and London. [Side Note: San Fran gets abused this summer. Alcatraz is destroyed in this film and The Golden Gate Bridge is demolished in Pacific Rim.]. The creativity, however, does not solely reside in the visuals but the various scenarios the characters find themselves in. One of the highlights is Captain Kirk and Khan’s outer-space-free-fall to board their “enemies” ship. The human minds which cultivated that idea from a sheet of paper to the illuminated silhouette on the silver screen explicitly points Christians to our amazingly, creative God.

This entire film would simply be shallow spectacle, however, were it not for the acting. An area the cinema has definitely refined has been the level of acting that frequents this genre. Acting and story were typically sacrificed some years back, but now they are just as central to the special effects. The ensemble cast that comprises the U.S.S. Enterprise is as well-developed as their acting. Not to mention the twists that add a deeper level of drama for the audience/characters.

Sacrificial Love

The theme of sacrifice throughout this film [spoilers]. In fact, the verse that continually came to mind was, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” [John 15:13]. This film constantly portrayed characters willing to sacrifice their lives for the sake of another. Spock does so in the opening scene, Bones is willing to explode for Carol’s sake, and Kirk willingly pursues death to save his entire crew.

Obviously the greatest example we have of this is Jesus Christ, which makes various portrayals something that should be applauded because they point us to the greater sacrifice.

Summer Sensuality

And of course, no Hollywood film would be complete without exploiting the human body. This is one aspect of the first Star Trek film, as well as, this one that bothers me. There is one completely unnecessary scene that hints at sensuality and a second scene that shows a women undressing.

Two thoughts come to mind when addressing sex making its way into almost every film – one negative and one positive. Negatively, this shows how uncreative Hollywood can be. I was, earlier, praising Abrams for his creativity, but the only thing creative about showing a woman undressing is how a filmmaker creates a scenario where that becomes a possibility in a space-action movie. This is simply cheap, exploitation employed to sale tickets.

Positively, although Hollywood and filmmakers put cheap sensuality in most of their films, they are drawing from a deeper truth that should be appreciated. That truth? Sex is powerful. Why is it powerful? Because God designed it to be. As we know, human sexuality is designed to draw a man and a women together in marriage. However, when it’s exploited from that context, it is still powerful, but it is being abused by its misuse of power.

Concluding Thoughts

Star Trek: Into Darkness is currently the highest-rated summer blockbuster this year (putting it above Man of Steel and Iron Man 3!), and I think it is well-deserved. It is really everything you are looking for in a summer movie. Even though there is an abuse of power, there is still truth that is being highlighted. And, let’s not forget the theme of sacrificial love that’s throughout. While Hollywood will continue to exploit powerful truths, let us not forget we worship a God whose hands are not tied. He is reigning and ruling over every filmmaker and every truth, no matter how much we try to exploit it, will ultimately bring him glory.

In the movie,The Five-Year Engagement, Emily Blunt and Jason Segel play a couple that go against the grain of culture and pursue marriage…sort of. Violet (Blunt) and Tom (Segel) fall in love, eventually get engaged, however, the wedding is postponed after Violet gets a job at the University of Michigan. This postpones the engagement for two years, until she gets a promotion, which postpones it again, and so on.

Although there will no doubt be questionable content, Engagement looks like a funny film. Both Blunt and Segel appear to have good chemistry and are decent actors. However, this film illustrates some concerns I must share, especially because of the tolerant culture we live in.

People are waiting longer and longer to get married, yet they are not postponing falling in love; i.e., having sex, cohabiting, etc. People are giving their love away left and right, but don’t want the responsibility that comes with it.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are just one example from our culture. After years and years of living together, having children, and adopting children, it has been reported that they are finally engaged. The Fifteen-Year Engagement, a film which chronicles their love story will be released later this Fall (just kidding).

It should come as no surprise to Christians that the institution of marriage is taken lightly, not merely because of the culture we live in, but because of the fact that Satan hates God. If God is the one who invented marriage, you can rest assured that Satan will be using all of his strength to destroy it. The proof? Just to name a few, the divorce rate, same-sex marriage, and postponing marriage.

Why is marriage such a big deal? If the divorce rate is so high, why not rethink this whole marriage thing? As Christians, we must strive to honor and uphold marriage, for at least two reasons. One, God designed it. Two, he designed it as a way to communicate his love for the church.

I am in no way saying you shouldn’t watch Engagement, but I am saying that it’s feeding the all-to-common ideal of postponing marriage that this culture is perpetuating. The sobering reality to this is the fact that it is being heavily practiced in the Christian community.

Tom and Violet are doing what so many Christians are doing. They pursue a career before their marriage. Nothing is wrong with being driven and fulfilling a calling to a specific profession, but why not go ahead and get married if you’re in a relationship with someone you love?

The Bible NEVER says you need a certain job, or a certain amount of money in the bank account, before you get married, it does say, “But if they (the singled or widowed) cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (1 Cor. 7:9)
I know Engagement, as well as the culture we live in, is okay with fornication but Christians shouldn’t be. However, many Christians are “burning with passion” instead of marrying their partner. This is a very serious concern that many Christians don’t seem to be giving much thought to. We tend to adamantly hold to the false commandment of ‘Thou shalt go to college, get a job, build up your savings, and then marry.” And all the while, they are burning with passion for that special someone.

Let me be clear, I am not saying The Five-Year Engagement is a movie attacking Christian ideals. What I am saying, is that this film brings up an issue that is prevalent in our culture. This culture is delaying marriage, but not the sex that is reserved for marriage. However, it is not merely the culture at large, but Christians are buying into and practicing this model, which is very dangerous.

Maybe, just maybe, this is one of the many factors that is adding to the divorce rate in our country. Think about it, we typically don’t have a lot of problems with Christians getting married at younger ages. Pursuing marriage first, then career. However, we do have it the other way around and many of those marriages are ending in divorce – not all, but many.

I know some will assert the idea that college-minded guys and girls are too immature. They need to grow up, live a little, and get ready to be married. The truth is though, no one is ever truly ready to be married. Marriage is a commitment that is beyond what anyone can comply to. In sickness and in health? Most people think of the common cold when they say that, but what about the traffic accident which leaves your spouse handicapped for the rest of your marriage? Part of God’s design of marriage is that he brings you to the end of yourself in order to make you cling to him. He is the one who is faithful.

Yesterday we looked at some of the themes of This Means War and how it raises some concerns for Christians. This may seem somewhat surprising since the film seems to be a fairly light-hearted, funny take on a love-trianlge. However, that is what may be so disconcerting for Christians, that is, taking such a serious thing and making light of it.

Let’s take a step back from the film for a second and let me ask you how you would feel in the same scenario. What if you found out someone you cared about had been intimately involved with another? You would be filled with a thousand different horrible emotions. Part of the design of sex is to draw two people together. Therefore, jealousy, rage, depression, sadness, fear, hate, and many other things come to the surface when we discover unfaithfulness in another.

Now I know some may argue, ‘But John, this movie presents it in a humorous fashion. Don’t get so uptight.’ Which is exactly my point from yesterday, should something so serious be presented in a humorous way? Let’s draw this out a bit further from a biblical perspective.

Sex was created by God to be enjoyed between one man and one woman in marriage. And it is through marriage that God illustrates his relationship to us. He is in a covenantal relationship with his people and HE is the faithful party. WE are the unfaithful spouse who are involved in the love-triangle, to use the movie analogy (only we have given our love to more than one other lover).

Scripture likens us to whores because of our unfaithfulness, all the while, God remains faithful but not emotionless. God, in part, would agree with the film. He too would entitle his film in the same way – This Means War.

You see, people shy away from talking about God’s wrath, but it actually communicates how loving he is. Using the example from the film, Tom Hardy & Chris Pine are both infuriated at the other, because of their love for Reese Witherspoon. We know this parallel breaks down, because pride is a driving force behind these two CIA agent’s battle, but love is involved as well.

Getting personal, if someone was to mistreat my wife, I would not sit back and watch. You better believe I’m coming at you and there isn’t an army who can stop me – this is true of God. When we give our love to anything else, be it sports, money, sex, leisure time, possessions, or whatever else, God gets jealous because he LOVES us.

God reminds us many times in Scripture that he is a jealous God and jealousy can only occur when you love someone. If you don’t love someone, you don’t care what they do. Therefore, the reaction of the CIA agents over Lauren (Witherspoon) is normal in a fallen world.

Love + unfaithfulness = jealousy, and, although taken lightly, this is what TMW communicates. God loves his people with such an intense love, he hates it when they give their love to another. This is the first commandment, You shall have no other gods before me. There is no one, or thing, that can love us in the way God can. And there is no one who will jealously declare war over those false gods like our infinitely faithful Father.

When I first heard of This Means War, I thought it sounded like a pretty funny scenario and felt that the cast could make this film enjoyable. However, from recent TV spots and ads, I began to question whether or not we should even discuss this film on our site. To assist the readers who may not know much about the film, let me add a brief synopsis.

According to IMDb’s website (the best movie website) the storyline follows two top CIA operatives [who] wage an epic battle against one another after they discover they are dating the same woman. The movie, humorously, depicts the two agents using aggressive force to knock each other out of the competition and win the girl. It is a mixing of genres – romantic comedy meets action adventure. Plus it is directed by McG, which tells you a lot. He typically directs entertaining action movies (Charlie’s Angels 1 & 2) and his name is McG….seriously, McG (it’s really Joseph McGinty Nichol but he only retains three of those letters).

Even though I had some hesitation about discussing this film at Reel Thinking, I felt that we should still do so. Part of our commitment is to discuss just about any film (excluding pornography) through the lens of Scripture. This film can still illustrate truth. Which brings me to the storyline and caution surrounding this film.

As mentioned above, two CIA agents discover they are dating the same woman. Let’s just be brutally honest and say that the world’s definition of dating isn’t the same as Christian’s. Dating, to the world means, sleeping with, fornicating, having sex. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of Christians who have sinned and gone down that path, however, the ‘dating’ this love-trianlge is doing in TMW is highly sexualized in the previews.

Brief side note here, according to Religion Saves & Nine Other Misconceptions, in 1896 dating was introduced as lower-class slang in reference to prostitution. That being said, it seems that most of the culture and Hollywood have embraced dating’s initial meaning.

As a believer, what aspect of this film should be most troublesome? For starters, and those who place stock in the MPAA, this film’s rating has been debated. It was initially given an R rating but moved to PG-13, whatever that means. Second, there seems to be significant sexual content. Third, there will be a decent amount of violence. While all of these should give caution to Christians and require an amount of discernment (I hope it does) these should be lesser concerns for the Christian.

The story follows three people becoming one…wait, how is that possible? Where is that in Genesis? We have a love-triangle; i.e., two people being joined together as one and then one of those people being joined to a third. What does this communicate abouti sex or dating or marriage? However, what might be more troublesome than this love-triangle is the fact that it is to be viewed as humorous.

We laugh at the extremes the two CIA agents go to as they battle each other for the love of a woman. It’s humorous to discover their jealous reaction when they discover they’ve given their love to a woman that is giving it to another. We think it’s funny that the woman becomes an object/mission/contest for these two agents to win. At least that’s what the previews communicate. But, for the Christian, these are gross perversions of love, marriage, unity, and relationship. Therefore, we must be cautious of the manner in which these lies are communicated. If not, one may subtlety buy into these and begin to treat them as rational ideals, when they are clearly lies. We must be cautious of laughing at lies.

**Three simple rules for the prize: 1) only one entry qualifies you for the drawing  (yep, we’re watching!), 2) entries submitted after midnight on 11/16/11 do not qualify, and 3) the winner will be notified via email as soon as possible.

Yesterday we discussed the fact that the producers of A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas abused God’s creation of sex for their own profit. Not only do they mock God’s creation for their own gain, they tell you that’s what their going to do. Because of this, Christians should not have to think too intently on whether or not they should view this film. However, because of the issue of Christian liberty, some Christians still think they can partake in the viewing of this film and just laugh at the ‘graphic nudity’ and ‘strong crude sexual content’.

Well, let me give you one other concern, mocking the Creator, Sustainer, and Savior of the Christian race. I haven’t seen the movie and I don’t plan on seeing the movie, but the trailer (and the poster to the right) give me enough reason to abstain from this horrifically trashy film. I don’t know exactly how my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ is going to be portrayed in this movie, but I can assure you, if the producers are exploiting sex and drugs, they aren’t going to give Christ the honor he is due.

Some other things I do know, is that Heaven is depicted as a strip club and Jesus is hanging out there. There’s really no limit to the amount of dishonor that this film will bring to the only Savior of sinners, so it’s probably best not to continue to speculate.

One other note about Harold & Kumar disgracing The Christ, is the heresy that seems to be communicated about Jesus in the trailer. The dialogue that goes back-and-forth between Neil Patrick Harris and Jesus implies that Jesus is inferior to the Father. This is a heresy and misunderstanding of the Trinity. Again, I don’t know the exact direction the film is going to take on this, but this could get into monarchianism or adoptionism which are heresies. They imply that the Father is superior to the Son and the Spirit, but that is a misunderstanding. God is one being with three distinct personalities. Although those personalities are distinct, they are equal in glory. When we refer to the God-head, we typically give an order (the Father, the Son, & the Holy Spirit), but this does not imply importance or rank. All of this to say, this movie mocks our Savior and spouts heresy to its viewers.

In Mark Driscoll’s book, Religion Saves + Nine Other Misconceptions, he deals with a chapter on humor. He complies a top 10 list for sanctifying comedy, and places this at the top of the list:

Don’t mock God. God is great. God is not a sinner. God is not to be judged by us. God is God. Further, God has a long history of getting the last laugh. So don’t mock God.

I think this is good advice and should greatly help us in the issue of discernment. Don’t mock God. This is never funny and if you laugh, you must repent of laughing at a perfect, holy God. God deserves all glory, honor, and respect, you don’t. Therefore, who are you to laugh at the only One who is due honor.

So that’s my, somewhat, harsh (truthful) post about H&K3D. Christians should not watch it for the graphic nudity and exploitation of God’s creation of sex. But they also shouldn’t watch it because it mocks the only one who can grant eternal life. Your time and money could be better spent elsewhere and they should be spent elsewhere, because they aren’t your time and money, they are God’s. I do wonder, when the producers, writers, directors, and actors of this film (especially the actor that mocks Christ) bow the knee to Christ one day, what’s the exchange going to look like?

A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas - Poster / Main ImageThere are a few things we hope to accomplish at Reel Thinking.  One thing you hear us constantly harp on is illuminating truth in film.  We hope that readers of this blog begin to see that there is a deeper layer to film that points to the Truth of God’s Word.  Another thing we hope to establish is assisting our readers in the area of discernment. Discernment is a challenging process, at times, and is something that requires stewardship in the Christian life.  As we have said, it seems that Christians have become lazier in the area of discernment and have turned to associations like the MPAA who instruct them on what they should watch.  Therefore, instead of focusing on ratings, or even placing too much emphasis on content, we focus more on biblical themes and Truth in film.  All of this (we hope) trains a generation of Christians to appreciate God’s gift of film and assists them as they wade through the difficult grey area in film.

While we know there is much grey in film, there are times when things become black and white.  A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas, is one of those black and white issues.  At RT we have made an effort to be different from most Christian sites dealing with film by not stating which films you should or should not see.  However, with a film like H&K3D, we will give our strongest statement we’ve ever given to a film.

We know there is such a thing as Christian liberty, which means what’s offensive to me isn’t necessarily offensive to another Christian and visa-versa. Romans 14 is a clear Scripture passage that illustrates this by using the analogy of food sacrificed to idols.  Paul says,

Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him.

Applying this to film, we must be cautious when stating whether or not a Christian can view a certain movie.  Because of the issue of Christian liberty, and desiring to be cautious in order to guard from binding a brother or sister’s conscience, we tend to lean away from that. While we want to remain sensitive to those issues, we also feel that this film gives us plenty of reason to issue a very strong warning to the Christian.  There are at least two cautions (there are probably many more) Christians must consider.

The first and most obvious caution is the sex.  The actual details list the film having ‘graphic nudity’ and ‘strong crude sexual content’.  It seems that you could stop the post here with enough reason why a Christian should not watch this film, but let’s discuss this a bit more.

Reading the same details of graphic nudity and strong crude sexual content and applying them to a film like, Schindler’s List, a Christian would most likely be able to make the argument that this content is needed to show an accurate portrayal of that historic event.  However, when we take that same content and apply it to an exploitative ‘stoner-bud-comedy’, Christians really don’t have a leg to stand on.

And that’s the real issue, exploitation.  This is the modus operandi of films like H&K3D.  Exploitation is the reason Christians should abstain from a movie like this.  The GOAL of the movie is to exploit sex and drugs, but let’s stay on sex for a minute.  The newest tv spot screams that exploitation is what this film is all about.  It says something along the lines of, ‘If we removed all the sex and drugs from the newest Harold & Kumar movie, it would look like this.’  The producers then show you a five second clip implying that when all the sex and drugs are edited out, there’s nothing left in the film.  They are telling you that this film is slam-packed with sex and drugs for the sake of sex and drugs.  Christians, you don’t have to be too discerning here, the producers are telling you what they’re all about.

Men, those who are married or hope to be married one day, Scripture tells us to ‘rejoice in the wife of your youth‘ [Prov. 5:18b], not some trashy woman taking her clothes off in the new Harold & Kumar movie.  Sex is something God created, not the perverted filmmakers of Harold & Kumar. Therefore, it is beyond disgraceful for them to take a good gift of God and whore it for their benefit.  I apologize for the strong language, but this is exactly what they’re doing.  They are removing sex from its proper context and using it, like it was their own creation, in order to make money.

As I warned you, this is the strongest post I’ve written on a film.  Anyone who knows these films, or films like these, know what they’re all about…sex.  Even though sex is a major emphasis and one that is guaranteed to make this film money, there is one more issue I would like to discuss tomorrow.  One that is more offensive than abusing God’s creation of sex.

(NOTE: This post was initially scheduled to coincide with the release of the film, which was two weeks ago, however, I bumped it to better accommodate our guest Brian Godawa. I know, it was pretty thoughtful.)

Yesterday we simply explained the plot of the film, What’s Your Number?, focusing in on Ally Darling’s [Anna Faris] search for her one true love. Ally has not been conservative at giving her love away to men, so she quickly begins tracking down her past 20 lovers thinking one of them could have been the one – this line of thinking came from an infallible statistic in an inerrant magazine like Cosmopolitan…or something like it.

WYN raises a question many people have asked, “Did I miss my one true love?” or another way to phrase it, “Did I marry the wrong person or the second best?” The sad reality is that many undiscerning people actually believe this is a possibility and are miserable because of it.

Let me look to some words of wisdom from Kevin DeYoung‘s book, Just Do Something (you really need to buy this book).

Yes, in God’s secret providence, He has just the right person picked out for you. And yes, once you meet the guy of your dreams, you won’t want to be with anyone else. I know this will sound very unromantic (especially to some of the ladies), but don’t think that there is only one person on the whole planet to whom you could be happily married. “You complete me” may sound magically romantic, but it’s not true. Yes, men and women are designed to rely on one another in marriage. However, the biblical formula for marriage is not half a person plus half a person equals one completed puzzle of a person. Genesis math says one plus one equals one [Gen. 2:24]

Once you’re married he or she will be the only puzzle piece for you. But before that don’t think that I’ve met this great gal, but what if she’s not the one? What if the one is in Boise and I haven’t found her yet? And especially after you’re married and you’re having difficulties, don’t tell your pastor, “I’m going to file for divorce; he just wasn’t the one.” The problem with the myth of “the one” is that it assumes that affection is the glue that holds the marriage bond together, when really it is your commitment to marriage that safeguards the affection.

I know that’s a rather lengthy quote, but those are some great thoughts for us to consider. As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, there are many who are led astray by the myth of the one. And with the release of What’s Your Number?, there will no doubt be those that either adopt or continue in that way of thinking. Let me, quickly, address a few difficulties with WYN?.

First, Ally’s character has been with, at least, 20 men. She may have not had sex with each of these men, but, with the culture we live in, the chances are very good that she has. This would wreak serious havoc on any relationship, but my guess is that WYN? will make light of sleeping around (this is a serious concern in most rom-coms), rather than showing the ramifications of this lifestyle. This just adds fuel to the sexual fire of this culture.

The second issue is the myth of the one. It is my concern that this is a real belief amongst believers and unbelievers in our culture and a film like this will only propagate the lie deeper in our thinking. As DeYoung said, there are actually many people one could actually be happily married to. For example, I’ve known people who have been married and widowed and remarried, which one was the one? The first marriage or the remarriage? The point is, when you are married, that is the one God wanted you to be with – not some previous or future person.

The last concern I have with WYN? (and pretty much every rom-com) is the fact that they all elevate true love to an unrealistic, unattainable level. Ally is worried that she will never find her one true love, and if she doesn’t she believes that she won’t/can’t be happy. Every rom-com elevates finding true love as the end all, be all, which was NOT the way God designed it. Yes, God wants marriage and sex to be an exciting thing that ultimately points to our relationship with Him, but God did not design another person to give you ultimate fulfillment. If you look to a man or a woman to “complete you”, you will be sadly disappointed in life. I don’t care how awesome your husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend is, chances are they have or will disappoint you. And if you’ve built your entire life with their love as your foundation, it’s only a matter of time before that love shack comes crashing down.

The truth is, there was One person we were designed to build our life around, and that’s Jesus Christ. He was the One whom not only died for his Bride, but lived for Her as well. Every good aspect of our relationships point to him, and every failure in all our relationships point us to how he succeeded. He’s the only relationship that won’t fail us, because he promises to never leave us or forsake us, even your earthly one true love can never do this.

Therefore, enjoy rom-coms, but understand their many faults and know that any true love in this life is but a glimpse of the infinite ways in which Christ loves His Bride.