Did You Pick Number Two?

Posted: October 14, 2011 by jperritt in Comedy, Rom-com [romantic comedy]
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

(NOTE: This post was initially scheduled to coincide with the release of the film, which was two weeks ago, however, I bumped it to better accommodate our guest Brian Godawa. I know, it was pretty thoughtful.)

Yesterday we simply explained the plot of the film, What’s Your Number?, focusing in on Ally Darling’s [Anna Faris] search for her one true love. Ally has not been conservative at giving her love away to men, so she quickly begins tracking down her past 20 lovers thinking one of them could have been the one – this line of thinking came from an infallible statistic in an inerrant magazine like Cosmopolitan…or something like it.

WYN raises a question many people have asked, “Did I miss my one true love?” or another way to phrase it, “Did I marry the wrong person or the second best?” The sad reality is that many undiscerning people actually believe this is a possibility and are miserable because of it.

Let me look to some words of wisdom from Kevin DeYoung‘s book, Just Do Something (you really need to buy this book).

Yes, in God’s secret providence, He has just the right person picked out for you. And yes, once you meet the guy of your dreams, you won’t want to be with anyone else. I know this will sound very unromantic (especially to some of the ladies), but don’t think that there is only one person on the whole planet to whom you could be happily married. “You complete me” may sound magically romantic, but it’s not true. Yes, men and women are designed to rely on one another in marriage. However, the biblical formula for marriage is not half a person plus half a person equals one completed puzzle of a person. Genesis math says one plus one equals one [Gen. 2:24]

Once you’re married he or she will be the only puzzle piece for you. But before that don’t think that I’ve met this great gal, but what if she’s not the one? What if the one is in Boise and I haven’t found her yet? And especially after you’re married and you’re having difficulties, don’t tell your pastor, “I’m going to file for divorce; he just wasn’t the one.” The problem with the myth of “the one” is that it assumes that affection is the glue that holds the marriage bond together, when really it is your commitment to marriage that safeguards the affection.

I know that’s a rather lengthy quote, but those are some great thoughts for us to consider. As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, there are many who are led astray by the myth of the one. And with the release of What’s Your Number?, there will no doubt be those that either adopt or continue in that way of thinking. Let me, quickly, address a few difficulties with WYN?.

First, Ally’s character has been with, at least, 20 men. She may have not had sex with each of these men, but, with the culture we live in, the chances are very good that she has. This would wreak serious havoc on any relationship, but my guess is that WYN? will make light of sleeping around (this is a serious concern in most rom-coms), rather than showing the ramifications of this lifestyle. This just adds fuel to the sexual fire of this culture.

The second issue is the myth of the one. It is my concern that this is a real belief amongst believers and unbelievers in our culture and a film like this will only propagate the lie deeper in our thinking. As DeYoung said, there are actually many people one could actually be happily married to. For example, I’ve known people who have been married and widowed and remarried, which one was the one? The first marriage or the remarriage? The point is, when you are married, that is the one God wanted you to be with – not some previous or future person.

The last concern I have with WYN? (and pretty much every rom-com) is the fact that they all elevate true love to an unrealistic, unattainable level. Ally is worried that she will never find her one true love, and if she doesn’t she believes that she won’t/can’t be happy. Every rom-com elevates finding true love as the end all, be all, which was NOT the way God designed it. Yes, God wants marriage and sex to be an exciting thing that ultimately points to our relationship with Him, but God did not design another person to give you ultimate fulfillment. If you look to a man or a woman to “complete you”, you will be sadly disappointed in life. I don’t care how awesome your husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend is, chances are they have or will disappoint you. And if you’ve built your entire life with their love as your foundation, it’s only a matter of time before that love shack comes crashing down.

The truth is, there was One person we were designed to build our life around, and that’s Jesus Christ. He was the One whom not only died for his Bride, but lived for Her as well. Every good aspect of our relationships point to him, and every failure in all our relationships point us to how he succeeded. He’s the only relationship that won’t fail us, because he promises to never leave us or forsake us, even your earthly one true love can never do this.

Therefore, enjoy rom-coms, but understand their many faults and know that any true love in this life is but a glimpse of the infinite ways in which Christ loves His Bride.

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